u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
