i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
