Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
