the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just pee around me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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