So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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