Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
