Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
