I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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