Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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