I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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