Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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