Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
