why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Someone came in the potted fern
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
