we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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