Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
