we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
