No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
