Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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