We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I have post one night stand depression
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