Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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