weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
