Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
