I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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