And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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