corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
