So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't deserve a penis
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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