brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
