I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
