Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
