dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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