my soul wont recognize me after tonight
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
