Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
