Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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