cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so let's talk penis.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
