We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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