Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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