We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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