Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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