okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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