Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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