Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
