I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
