Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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