He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
