i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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