my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
