Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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