Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
