Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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