i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
