i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
