Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
